Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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