Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
