ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
