so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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