Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
