We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
