We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
