I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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