ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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