no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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