god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
