Small penises have feelings too.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
