I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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