I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
