your room smells of hookers.
And success
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
