If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
