I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize