I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
