You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize