I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We need to rekindle our bromance
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
