He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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