can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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