This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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