I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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