Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
