Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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