If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
