You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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