with your own penis?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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