Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize