Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
