Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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