I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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