I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
