In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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