just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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