how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
