You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize