You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
