he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize