I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dick very happy bro
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize