I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
