Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
