Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
