I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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