I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
