On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
