he wants to bone in the snuggie
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
