I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
