he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize