It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
