I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
