I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
