Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
