my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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