Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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