Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize