Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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