I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
