someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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