McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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