do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
