I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
