i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
