You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
