She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
