I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize