Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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