he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
COCAINE IS GR8
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
