I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
