I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
