david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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