y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
