So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
