Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
